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From Stress to Calm: How to hack your nervous system

Have you ever noticed how your mood and energy can change depending on your environment or interactions? One moment you feel calm and social, and the next, you might feel anxious or even shut down. Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, sheds light on why this happens. It explains how our nervous system constantly scans for cues of safety or danger and adjusts our responses accordingly.

 

At the heart of Polyvagal Theory is the vagus nerve, a key player in the parasympathetic nervous system. The vagus nerve runs from our brain down to all of our internal organs and is part of the body’s threat detection system, sending signals between your brain and body. It constantly tracks and orients to dangers in the environment and changes human physiology to respond in the most effective way to real or perceived threats. It is called our “autonomic nervous system” because it is automatic and operates outside of conscious awareness. Depending on the situation, your nervous system shifts between three main states:

  1. The Safety Zone (Ventral Vagal State): This is where you feel calm, connected, and able to think clearly. Your heartbeat is steady, your breathing is smooth, and you’re open to social interaction.
  2. The Fight-or-Flight Zone (Sympathetic Activation): When your brain senses danger, it shifts into high alert. You might feel your heart race, your breathing quicken, and your muscles tense, all preparing you to fight or flee.
  3. The Shutdown Zone (Dorsal Vagal State): If the danger feels overwhelming, your body might hit the brakes. You could feel frozen, disconnected, or numb. This is your body’s way of conserving energy in a crisis.

These states aren’t choices; they’re automatic responses designed to keep you safe. But sometimes, stress or trauma can leave us stuck in fight, flight, or shutdown mode, even when the danger has passed. Chronic stress, unresolved trauma, or overwhelming situations can condition your nervous system to respond more frequently in these protective states.

What makes Polyvagal Theory especially valuable is its emphasis on connection. Humans are hard wired for connection; it’s part of our biology. The ventral vagal state is often referred to as the “social engagement system” because it’s where we feel most connected and safe. This state isn’t just important for mental well-being; it also supports physical health by promoting better digestion, immune function, and heart health.

One of the most fascinating aspects of Polyvagal Theory is how it highlights the importance of safety cues. Think of it like a radar system: your nervous system is always looking for signals in your environment to determine if it’s safe or threatening. A gentle tone of voice, or a calming environment can signal safety, activating the ventral vagal state. On the flip side, loud noises, aggressive behaviour, or even subtle tensions can trigger a fight-or-flight response. Once you understand this, you can start exploring techniques to guide your nervous system back to the safety zone.

 

Practical Techniques to Activate Your Safety Zone

 

By learning how to regulate your nervous system, you can respond to stress in healthier ways and guide your nervous system back to a place of calm and connection. Here are practical techniques, rooted in Polyvagal Theory, to activate your safety zone.

 

  1. Deep Breathing Deep, slow breathing is one of the simplest and most effective ways to calm your nervous system. When you breathe deeply—especially with a longer exhale—it signals your body that you’re safe. This is because the vagus nerve connects to your diaphragm, and its activation helps slow your heart rate and relax your muscles. Try this: inhale for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for six. Notice how this shifts your focus and soothes your body. To make it a habit, pair deep breathing with daily routines like morning coffee or bedtime.
  2. Grounding Exercises Grounding techniques bring your focus back to the present moment, which can help calm a racing mind. One popular method is the “5-4-3-2-1” technique: name five things you see, four you can touch, three you hear, two you smell, and one you taste. This engages your senses and shifts your focus away from distressing thoughts.
  3. Gentle Movement Moving your body in calming ways—like yoga, stretching, or walking—can help release tension and reset your nervous system. Movement helps discharge the energy built up in the fight-or-flight state while promoting a sense of control and safety. Physical activity reconnects your mind and body, reinforcing the message that you’re not in immediate danger.
  4. Social Connection Human connection is one of the most powerful tools for regulating your nervous system. Spending time with supportive friends or family, or talking to someone you trust, can activate your ventral vagal state.
  5. Humming, Singing, or Chanting Your voice is closely tied to the vagus nerve. Activities like humming, singing, or chanting create vibrations that stimulate the nerve, promoting relaxation. These actions also engage the part of your nervous system that connects social engagement with feelings of safety.

By practicing these strategies regularly, you can train your nervous system to recover from stress more quickly and stay in the safety zone longer.

 

Why These Techniques Work and Building Resilience

 

Each of the techniques we’ve discussed—deep breathing, grounding, gentle movement, social connection, and vocal exercises—works by “toning” your vagus nerve and helping your nervous system return to the safety zone.

When you practice deep breathing or humming, you directly stimulate the vagus nerve. This sends calming signals to your brain and body, slowing your heart rate and reducing stress hormones. Grounding exercises and mindful movement, on the other hand, engage your senses and help discharge the excess energy built up during fight-or-flight states. By shifting focus to the present, you’re teaching your nervous system that the immediate threat has passed. Social connection is another powerful tool. When you’re with supportive people, your nervous system picks up on subtle cues of safety which activate your ventral vagal state.

Over time, these practices “train” your nervous system to recover more quickly from stress, which enhances your resilience. Resilience isn’t about avoiding stress altogether; it’s about how well you recover. People with strong vagal tone find it easier to bounce back from challenges and stay grounded during difficult times.

Polyvagal Theory reminds us that we’re not broken. If you feel stuck in anxiety or shutdown, it’s your nervous system trying to protect you. By understanding how it works and practicing these techniques, you can gently guide yourself back to a place of safety and connection and increase your ability to be resilient when life gets challenging.